The letters of distorted families and their comprehensive answers۔Must send the envelope to reply with complete address written on it and do not make hast to have reply of letter.
Financial crisis:
I got married with my choice and had happiness but the financial crisis did not leave. Now I have a daughter and I want to give her good education, and I became afraid that she may also live a life of displeasing the parents like me and she may be left alone. Threat and fear about her future are snatching my today’s peace. I absorb so deeply in thoughts while sitting that when my daughter shake my shoulder then I get shock and then I take her in my lap, a strange kind of fear keeps surrounding me. (Asia, Narowal)
Answer: Many people get fearful about their future but they do not know that in this they are depriving themselves from the today’s happiness or peace. You have the sense of this thing, so try to get rid of this feeling. Becoming senseless about your surroundings, silence and carelessness about the daughter is not good for mental health. Nobody knows about the future, many tensions come to an end with the passage of time. Those who live in today they work hard today. They enable themselves of something. And their coming future also becomes good.
Feeling of plotting:
My husband did good job for ten years; we did not know that how all needs were fulfilled. But from last one year his health remains out of order. He did very bad to me, he do not trust me and do not let me talk to anyone. Especially I cannot call through telephone to anyone. He is afraid that people are planning and plotting against him. And they want my murder. I am also going to be a psychological patient. The people who meet us they say that he is suffering a psychological issue. But he spent all his life in fulfilling the responsibilities. What happened this so sudden? I see that if people have any mental issue then they are the strange from very start of life. (Shazia Belgium)
Answer: every mantel and psychological patient is not different from normal people in the respect of their birth. Most of them are the persons whose mental growth does not properly develop. So they are patients to some extent. Those who had been living the normal life and becomes the psychological patient they become a problem for their family. Doubt, supposing things, restlessness, sleeplessness, and joblessness are revealing that your husband is not mentally well.
I want someone to listen:
I want to speak whatever I want, I want, rather keep on speaking; I want someone to listen me who must listen my talks seriously. In this way my heart will be weightless. My heart is very heavy. Like many other people I also loved but I remain silent. I thought to be something first then I will reveal this. But good girls cannot wait. So soon the marriage of that girl happened, and now she is abroad. I come to know that she is not happy. She is upset because of loneliness; her husband is ill mannered. What is the benefit of such wealth, when heart is not happy. May be the situation would be different if I have married her. Who should I tell this thing and many other things, problems, unfulfilled desires, uncompleted wishes, wants, and dreams with open eyes?
Answer: usually the people who listen are not so patient and they do not keep the secret that they take others talks seriously and then secure the secrets of others. That is why after saying your words become others property. There are many others methods to make your heat light. And the good of them is to write. Write your problems on a plain paper after adding the numbers. After that read everything and think or write the answer of that thing. And feel the peace with every sentence. Sometimes heart becomes very sad so write in this situation whatever the feeling are like, pain, anger, desire, dream and wants. And to secure your secret erase whatever is written or tear the papers. The mental stress will be reduced. There is an unconscious desire to hear the bad about the girl you loved. Control it, and do not think about her love. She was not in luck you can marry another girl like her.
The effects of advice: we all family members get together at the dinner time; we have conversations with children in that time. If we come to know about the bad thing then we also discuss that. Elder son is very sensitive. He wants that no one should discuss about him even in front of family members. As we see at him to talk he gets up goes from there. And he did not eat after this. But when we advise to other son he listens and did not mind it. I think that there is something wrong with elder son which he wants to hide. And now he comes home late at night. This thing is more worrisome for me. (M. Gujjarawala)
Answer: The effects of advice are different on every child. You are mother and you have the idea about the feelings and habits of son. When children are grown up it is necessary to behave politely, affectionately and devotedly. It is must to make them believe that parents trust them very much. Especially at the time of eating meal it is necessary to avoid any unpleasant arguments and discussions. Do eat in a good and pleasant atmosphere. Otherwise children will go from there without eating and drinking anything. If there is any important thing then talk to children after going to his room or after calling him into your own room. Brief advice effects deeply.
Politics of in-Laws: I got married in the age of 16 years. I did not know anything about the world. There was a strange kind of politics in the husband’s house. I did not understand anything. Then I got a daughter. The mother in law keeps her with herself. Then I got a son. He is my responsibility. I am afraid that my daughter may have a bad image of me, because she does not listen to me. She is 3 years old if I scold her she hits me. I feel anger but I bear. The other members of family are distorting her personality. My husband wants me to be quite otherwise the relations will be disturbed. He needs to stay in other cities for a month and in this duration I am bound to live with two children here. (U, Mardhan)
Answer:You need to be patient and be firm in your behavior in this situation because you have the responsibility of two children and their upbringing. You husband also cannot help you in this because he have to stay away from home for long duration. 3 years old daughter will come to you in anger it is necessary to behave with love to her. Bring something to eat for her. And teach her to love her younger son. In coming time she will start going to school. Then you take care of her according to school activities like helping in homework etc.
